The phenomenon of the increasing number of women who married late (spinster) be a daunting case today, threatens mostly girls and women in an Islamic society, even in the whole world.
Usrah magazine Al-Qa `dah 1420 edition 80 H write a spinster screams of Medina Munawaroh," At first I was undecided before writing to you because of fear of women because I knew that they would say that I am mad, or possessed. However, the reality that I experienced and also experienced by a large number of old virgins, which no one knows, make ventured. I will write my story briefly.
When I was started nearly 20 years, I like the other girl dreams of a young man who multazim and noble. My first build thinking and expectations; later how we live and how we educate our children ... and .. and ...
I was one of the most combat ta'adud (polygamy). Merely hear people say to me, "So and so got married again a second", without realizing I pray that he is wretched. I said, "If I was his wife-the first-surely I would dump him, as he had dumped me '. I often discuss with my brother and sometimes with my uncle about ta'addud problem. They are trying to get me to accept ta'addud, while I remain stubbornly unwilling to accept Shari'ah ta'addud. I told them, 'It is impossible another woman would accompany my husband along with me ". Sometimes I am the cause of problems-problems between husband and wife because he wanted to forge his first wife; provoke me so that he fight for her husband.
Anyway, the day went by while I was waiting for the youth dream. I was waiting ... but it has not arrived and I'm still waiting. Nearly 30 years of my life on hold. 30 years have passed ... oh divine, what should I do? Do I have to go out to look for the groom? I could not, people would say this woman have no shame. So, what will I do? There's nothing I can do, other than wait.
One day when I was sitting, I heard one of the ladies said, 'fulanah be an old maid ". I said to myself, "Poor fulanah be an old maid," but, it turns out fulanah is me. Yes divine! Indeed it is my name. I have become an old maid. However I describe it to you, you will not be able to feel it. I was faced with a reality as a spinster. I began to repeat the calculations, what I do?
As time passed, the day after another, and I wanted to scream. I want a husband, a man where I shelter in its shade, help me resolve problems-problems. Brother man did not melalaikanku bit, but he's not like a husband. I want to live; want to give birth, and enjoy life. However, I am not able to say these words to the men. They will say, "This woman is not shy". There's nothing I can do other than keep quiet. I laughed, but not of the heart. Do you want me to laugh, while the hands holding burning coals? I could not.
One day, my brother went to the greatest, saying, "Today I have come the bride and groom, but I refused ..." Unwittingly I said, "Why are you doing? It should not be! "He said to me," Because he wants you as his second wife, and I know that you are very combat ta'addud (polygamy) ". I nearly shouted in front of him, "Why do not you agree? 'I am willing to be a second wife, or third, or fourth. Both of my hand in the fire. I agree, yes I am the first fight ta'addud, now take it. My brother said, "It's too late"
Now I know the wisdom in ta'addud. The wisdom of this has led me to accept, how the wisdom of the other lessons? O Allah, forgive my sins. Actually I did not know beforehand. These words I addressed to men, "Berta'addud the one, marry one, two, three, or four with a capable and fair terms. I remind you with his word, "ye marry .. So what is better for you than a woman, two, or three, or four, so if you are afraid of not being able to do justice, then one .." Save us. We are human beings like you, feel the pain too. Cover us, have mercy on us. "
And the following words I addressed to my sister who had married a Muslim, "Celebrate this favor because you do not feel the heat of the fire to be an old maid. I hope you're not angry if your husband wants to get married again to another woman. Or do you prevent it, but encourage it. I know that this is very hard on you. However, expect a reward from God. Look at the state of being a spinster suadarimu, divorced women, and widows; anyone who will protect them? Suppose he is your sister, you will definitely get a great reward with patience "
You might say to me, "There will come a bachelor who would marry her". I say to you, "Look at the population census. Actual number of women more than men. If any man married to one woman, undoubtedly many of our women who become old maids. Do not just think of themselves. However, also think about your sister. Suppose you are in a position ".
You might also say, "All that is not important to me, which is important not marry my husband again." I say to you, "The hand that is in the water is not as hands on fire. It might happen. If your husband was married again to another woman, know that this world is transitory, lasting akhira. You must not selfish, and do not hinder the sister of favor. Will not be perfect faith in someone that he loves for his brother what he loves for himself ". (1)
For the sake of Allaah, if you feel the fire of an old maid, and then you get married, you would say to your husband "Marry my sister and take care of it". O Allah, we beg you glory, holiness, and a husband who worships "
By: A.A.N, Medina
1. HR. Kitan Bukhari in the Muslim Faith no 13 and no 45.
Copied by Hijab Online from the book "My wife marrying me", As-Sayyid bin Abdul Aziz As-Sa'dani, Darul Falah, cet. August 2004
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